I was writing in my journal this morning, when I noticed the date August 10th 2016. Wow time is moving so quickly! How I love my freedom! I know I am growing in confidence and self belief. Believing that I have a future and I can accomplish anything! I live in a great area where I can access plenty of professional support and I have support from friends. But having their support has meant talking to them about what I am going through. This might just be the first step to recovery. Letting people in and breaking the silence won’t be as bad as you might think. If you look around you and assess your friendships with an open mind then you should have at least one that you can speak openly and honestly with. If you don’t then I will post some useful contacts and the end of this post.
Thinking that the abuse will stop is wishful thinking, and that’s coming from me who was in it for 17 years.
Thinking that he doesn’t know how much he is hurting you is a lie that you tell yourself to make the situation OK so you can stay in it.
I was in a domestic violence conference at the weekend and I heard a speaker say “we are all appalled when we hear about terrorism on the news, so why do we allow it to happen in our homes”?
Definition of terrorism; 1) the use of violence and threats to intimidate or coerce (2) the state of fear and submission produced by terrorism.
Do you feel safe in your home? Are you free to say what you want? Free to express yourself? Free to come and go as you please? Are you able to see the friends you want to? Or are your friends hand picked by someone else? Can you work where you want to? Can you chase your dreams? Can you do a higher education course? If you answered no to any of those questions, then I’ll ask you “why not”? Who or what’s stopping you? Could it be threats of violence and coercion?
Definition of coercion; 1) use of force or intimidation to obtain compliance (2) force or the power to force in gaining compliance.
Synonyms of coercion; duress, intimidation, persuasion, bullying and menacing behaviour.
I am sharing my experience in this blog to show others that there is life after abuse. Many people are experiencing abuse of different forms everyday. We are not subjected to one type of abuse but usually it is several on a daily basis. If a stranger hit you wouldn’t you call the police? So why accept it from someone who loves you? If your partner has hit you then dial 999, the police are there to help you. They will believe you. Here in the UK professionals are being trained to know the signs of psychological, financial, and sexual abuse. These are just some of the types of abuse that don’t leave a physical mark. You will be believed. Whatever difficulties you come up against in the beginning when you first leave will be so worth it. It makes you stronger. How much better will you be when you get out from under the terrorist regime you are under right now? Good luck. Find your courage. Re-connect with the inner you, the you before he or she came along.
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