I would never have ever imagined that I could find the courage to tell him to leave. But I did. The whole process was awful, I didn’t know which way he was going to go. Angry or over soppy. I’m not sure if it was courage, I had just absolutely had enough. I was tired. Tired of explaining myself over and over again even though I had given him a very clear explanation THE FIRST TIME, tired of having to go to bed at the same time as him because he said he couldn’t sleep without me in the bed, oh so very tired of having him grab my bum with two hands really hard and roughly when he came home from work – I mean what’s wrong with a cuddle and a kiss and being asked how my day was?!
The day I did it the kids were playing in the garden. I walked straight upto him and told him I had had enough. He asked “enough of what”, and I replied ” this…us”. I watched as his expression changed many times as he was working out exactly what my words meant. “17 years” I said, “17 years and I cannot do another minute”. I held his gaze with mine. I didn’t flinch, I stood my ground…all be it I stood behind a chair! I made sure that there was a chair between us the whole time, as he moved nearer I subtly took a step back and found another chair. I had a handbag across my body with my keys and purse with a bit of money in. My phone was in my tracksuit bottoms pocket for easy access just in case I had to dial 999. But it never came to that. We also had the kids coming in asking for juice etc which helped to keep things “normal”.
It took a few hours before he actually left. At one point he asked me why don’t I go and leave him with the kids, it was me that wanted us to separate after all. My response to that was – what was he going to feed them chicken nuggets and chips every night? And how would he prepare the dinner and help them with there home work at the same time? That soon put a stop to that idea!
If you are unsure if you are with an abusive partner or you need to leave an abusive partner then please look up the local domestic violence support network for your area. I’m sure you’ll find lots of information to help you make an informed decision.
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